1.  Setting the budget. I’m always surprised when brides start planning without first setting up a detailed budget.  Believe me, unless you’ve been involved in helping your sister or close friend plan their big day, you’re going to be shocked by the cost of a wedding, and your budget will not go as far as you think it will. When you have a complete breakdown of your budget, you’ll be able to tell your vendors the amount you have to work with, and they’ll be able to help you make the best choices.

2. Asking Your Parents for Money. Forget that old rule that weddings are paid for by the parents of the bride. That time has passed. As the marrying age has gone up, so has the amount that each couple contributes to their own nuptials. While parents on both sides often still contribute, don’t automatically assume that they will give you carte blanche for your wedding. And if they do, expect some “friendly” input!

OK, so you’re pretty sure your parents are willing to contribute to the wedding. No matter how certain you are that they will, you should always verify first. Which means the “fun” part of asking the parents if they are interested in contributing. No matter how close your relationship is to both sets of parents, it’s not fair to make one person do all of the asking. Each one of you gets to ask your own parents.

This is where your homework will really pay off. Show your parents ideas of the type of wedding that you are looking to create, how much it will cost, and how much you and your fiancé(e) can contribute. Then ask if they would consider contributing a set amount to fund a specific part of the wedding. Consider having them do so in lieu of giving a gift.

Regardless of their answer, make them feel comfortable with whatever they decide. Remember, this is your event, not theirs. They shouldn’t have to go into debt for your wedding day, no matter how important you feel it is to have a designer gown or a full five-course dinner with open bar for everyone you know.

3. Choosing a date. Now that you’re engaged, everyone wants to know, “Have you set the date?” Before you choose an exact date, decide on a season or month you’d like to be married. If you’ve always dreamed of having your wedding at a certain venue and you select a specific date first, you may find that the venue has already been booked, or costs too much. Most venues offer discounts during off-peak season, or off-peak hours and the savings can be significant!

4. Decide if you’d like to hire a Wedding Planner. Okay, you knew this would be one of the steps, right? There are a lot of details that go into planning a wedding, and problems and questions will arise. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to keep everything in check and running smoothly? Someone to help you stay on budget, help keep you organized, help you handle the sea of “great ideas” from well-meaning friends and family, help you design a “great look” for your special day. Even if you decide to tackle all of the planning yourself, you should consider hiring a “Day Of” coordinator to manage your wedding day, so you and your families can relax and enjoy your wedding day.

Before you think of hiring a wedding planner as just another cost, realize that wedding planners have more experience and vendor relationships than you do, and many times they often help save you more money than their actual fee. Did you know that brides who don’t hire a wedding planner usually overspend their budget by 30%?

5. Decide on the Guest List. The number of guests you invite will affect the cost of your wedding and where you will be able to hold your ceremony and reception.

One of the biggest challenges you’ll face when deciding on a guest list is keeping it manageable in size, and keeping everyone happy. Most likely, you, your fiancé, and both your families will have names to add to the guest list. But the bigger your guest list, the more money you’ll have to spend. You’ll have to pay for more invitations, more food to feed them all, more favors, etc.

Keeping the number lower will allow you to save money, splurge a little more on the details, and you’ll be able to spend more time with each of your guests.

Having fewer guests may mean the difference between having an open bar or just serving a signature drink, beer, and wine. Or having the extra money for that expensive wedding gown that you fell in love with, or the live musicians for the ceremony.

Well there you have it, 5 steps to starting your wedding planning. These are just the first of many, but they’ll help you begin your journey along the path to planning your wedding easier. Happy Planning!

Here are 6 tips for today’s brides to consider before they begin to look for that perfect wedding dress.

1.  Many brides have a good sense of their own fashion preferences.  They know what looks good on them.  Think about what you wear and why it looks good.  What are your fashion preferences?  Are you tailored, frilly, feminine, or casual?  Do you want a gown that reflects those looks or is your wedding gown to be a complete departure?  Think about the “look” you want for your wedding.  Look at magazines, check out web sites and make notes of the styles that catch your eye.  When you go into a wedding salon, one of the questions you’ll be asked is “Do you have any styles in mind?”  The wedding consultant who will be assisting you in your selection process will prefer to start with gowns that reflect your personal tastes.

2. Be honest with yourself about your body shape.  If you are tall, you’re lucky.  Lots of gowns are made for tall brides.  If you are short, you’re lucky.  Many designers see the petite bride as their specialty.  If you are heavier in the bust, or in the hips, or thighs, or shoulders – be honest with yourself and let the wedding consultant work with you to find the perfect dress to accent or camouflage certain areas.

3. Think about color.  Gowns are shown in bridal white, soft creamy ivory, silver, gold and all shades in between.  Color trims can accent most gowns.  What are your most flattering shades?

4. When you go into a store to try on gowns, go prepared.  Wear good underwear – especially a bra and any foundation garment you think you may wish to wear under your gown.  If something special is needed for the gown you ultimately choose, your wedding consultant can help with that.  You should wear a shoe with the approximate heel height you’ll wear for the ceremony.

5. Don’t focus on your dress size.  I watched a TV show in which the bride to be refused to consider a dress that looked fabulous on her because it wasn’t a size 2.  She stated that she only wore size 2.  Well forget about the number.  Every designer has his/her version of sizing.  That’s why you are working with a professional wedding consultant.  She knows her merchandise, the designers she has selected for her store and she will find you the perfect dress with a perfect fit.  Don’t worry about size and don’t order a smaller dress size “planning to fit into it”.  Be guided by the consultant.

6. Give yourself plenty of time to order the gown, be prepared to make a deposit on your order and think carefully before taking a group with you.  One person whose taste you respect is truly enough – two tops!  It is a special time for you to find the perfect wedding dress that means the most to you – not to the cousins, godmothers and sorority friends you’ve gathered to participate in this event.

What is engagement chicken? It’s a roast chicken recipe that promises to make your boyfriend propose marriage.

Sounds crazy, right? Well according to over 70 couples, it really works! It was started by an editor at Glamour magazine who shared it with staff members who all got engaged after serving it to their men. Just in case you want to try it out, here’s the recipe:

This is an area that rarely gets talked about because the couple’s focus is on their upcoming wedding.  It is exciting and happy and busy and no one thinks that his/her wedding will come unglued so quickly.  Most couples talk about “forever and ever.”  Unfortunately, that doesn’t come true for some.

The rule of thumb has always been that wedding gifts received for any wedding which ends at or around six months must be returned.  (Emily Post)  That clearly includes Kim K.  Traditionally, it is also expected that any gifts that have been used do not need to be returned.  The exception is the monster diamond engagement ring Kris gave Kim.  She may keep the ring since it was a gift from the groom to his bride.

What other guidelines exist to cover this situation?  The bride and groom should be sending handwritten notes to each of their guests in which they thank the individuals for attending their ceremony and letting them know that the marriage is being dissolved.  In the note they need to reference the gift received and its disposition – either returned to the giver or donated in their name to a special charity.  If the gift was cash, it needs to be returned to the giver.

One can only hope that the couple goes about “uncoupling” in a quiet and dignified manner.  No parties or celebrations should be held.

This doesn’t happen often, but as wedding professionals we know how to advise the bride on wedding gift etiquette when she finds herself in this unfortunate situation.

Our brides sometimes ask us about requesting cash gifts for their wedding. There are a number of web sites and blogs that have – in effect – approved the request for a cash gift as a “discreet mention” on the wedding invitation.  We can hardly believe that someone who claims to be a wedding professional is offering that kind of advice to brides.  Some do acknowledge that it is difficult to ask for money and that some guests may take offence.  Hello!!!

Every professional wedding planner or consultant should acknowledge the first rule stated beautifully by Emily Post.  “Some traditions never go out of style.  A few that hold true:  No mention of gifts, even “no gifts, please” is made on a wedding invitation.”  This holds doubly true for cash.  “Sharing information on a wedding website is fine, and that site may offer registry information.”  The guideline is:  Don’t include registry or gift information with your invitation.  It is in poor taste to include a list of places where the bride and groom are registered or a checklist of the things they do and don’t want.  And this guide certainly applies to cash.

We do acknowledge that outside of the very formal traditional invitation where wording follows a time-honored formula, more couples are choosing new wording options.  Any wording they choose that is both “respectful of their guests and true to themselves will be fine.”  (Emily Post)

It is important that invitations read as correct grammatical statements and provide guests with all the information they need about who, when, where and how to reply. There is no way to dictate to guests what they choose to give.

If the bride is asked what she would like by a close relative, instead of requesting cash as a gift, it is fine to answer honestly and politely that the couple is saving for a down payment on a house, but that whatever that person chooses will be appreciated.  Rely on parents, friends, and attendants to spread the word that cash gifts are appreciated or have those same people provide the information about where the couple is registered.

We help our brides to either bring costs down or keep them in check.  Done in the right places, there are many ways to save on costs and take nothing away from the wedding they’ve planned.

Because it’s the most costly aspect of most wedding plans, major savings can be realized through wedding reception adjustments.  We recommend that our brides consider these ideas.

• Look for a location that both fits the occasion and requires very little decorating enhancements.  Many spots are fine the way they are.  If brides wish to add décor, most event planners would agree that creating one large decorative element is not only dramatic, but also more budget friendly than a dozen smaller elements scattered around the room.

Brides frequently ask us about wedding centerpieces for their reception.

The list of options is long and varied but these are some of the most often used by brides.

If your florist is providing centerpieces for your reception, work closely with him/her to be sure that the theme or color you have chosen for your wedding continues to the reception area.  We have seen weddings where one theme dominates the ceremony and another is chosen for the reception.  If the two are complimentary, it is soothing.   If the choices are worlds apart, it can be jarring to move from one to another.  Complimentary themes are comfortable.

If you are handling wedding centerpieces on your own, here are some ideas to keep in mind.

• A centerpiece should never block a guest’s view.
• If color has been a theme for your wedding celebration – introduced in the invitations and save the date cards – it should continue through the reception and any next day celebrations you plan.
• For informal centerpieces arrange flowers to have a “just picked” look.  Use wild flowers or branches of seasonal flowers for an unusual impact.
• Formal centerpieces are usually symmetrical in either a triangular, circular or rectangular shape.
• Flowers may be used as a centerpiece and/or casually placed at each place setting.
• Create a still life with fruits, flowers and vines arranged on a lovely tray.
• Pitchers – used singly or in groups, make attractive containers.
• Pretty baskets filled with blooming plants and tucked in with moss work well.
• Arrange several crystal candlesticks on a mirror as a centerpiece.  Insert candles in your color theme or use creamy white.  Just remember that they should be tall enough to be above eye level or low enough so that the flame will not be annoying.
• Also grouped on a mirror, consider using wine glasses each with a flower afloat.
• If the facility can handle it, some centerpieces can be hung above the tables in special baskets.

We know that many if not most men prefer casual clothing styles.  And when it comes to choosing their wedding attire, an amazing number of men spend some time “grousing” about getting “dressed up”.  But once in their tuxedos they seem to relax and notice how good they really look. While traditional rules are used as guidelines, we feel there are many options to accommodate personal preference in the area of men’s wedding attire.

One of the most noticeable influences is the increase in color as an accent. Today’s couples are getting married in a classic, yet contemporary style.  Choosing colored cummerbunds, ties and pocket squares to complement bridesmaid dresses provides a unique flair to the entire wedding party.

Designers continue to show updated silhouettes for the men in the party that offer both style and comfort.

Two-button, single breasted styling with side-vented back, satin peak lapel, and satin double besom pockets.

Two-button, single breasted styling.

As a guideline, remember that medium or darker colors are fine anytime, but are more appropriate during the evening or in winter months.  Tails are proper anytime, but are most commonly worn by the groom only, rather than the entire wedding party.

To avoid having guests appear at your lovely wedding in casual clothes or worse, jeans, there is a way to spread the message about your expectations.  Never on the wedding invitation but on the reception card, just add the line “Black Tie Invited”.   Some guests may indeed wear a tux, but this three-word addition offers your guests a guideline as to what men’s wedding attire is expected.

Two-button white tuxedo with fashion trim diamond lapel.

Wedding Casuals two-button notch lapel linen suit.

Photos: Brides.com

And what better place to consider having it than Salem, Massachusetts. Salem is particularly popular during October, with month-long Halloween celebrations featuring tours of haunted houses, a narrated stroll through Salem’s oldest graveyard, séances, costume balls and street fairs.

Click here for the Haunted Happenings Guide

You might want to consider having your wedding at The House of Seven Gables, located in Salem, Ma. It’s the oldest surviving 17th century wooden mansion in New England, and was the inspiration for Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The House of the Seven Gables.” The mansion’s Seaside Lawn is a beautiful site for a wedding, wedding reception or both, and can accommodate 200 guests seated for dinner, including a dance floor.

Or how about the Salem Waterfront Hotel?

The Salem Waterfront Hotel & Marina is Salem’s newest boutique hotel with a nautical, contemporary decor.

They’re Wicked Night on the Wharf is an annual sell-out Halloween Costume Ball. This year, it will be on Saturday October 29.  Click here for more info.

No place in the world celebrates Halloween like Salem, Ma.!

Someone in the wedding party who knows the guest(s) who are about to be “disinvited” should deliver the bad news. Making these calls to the guests involved is hard. Maybe the bride herself could do some, maybe her mother or the groom’s mother could call or even the maid of honor could make the calls on behalf of the bride.

Family members – extended or not – can usually be counted on to be the most
understanding and accommodating. Guests to whom a “plus one” has been extended may find it a bit awkward.

This situation can be complicated when brides enthusiastically order lots of “save the date” cards as soon as they get engaged and set a date before they have done any serious thinking about venues or budgets. Save the date cards imply that an invitation will follow as the date gets closer, so many guests begin to think of them as “mini invites”. We recommend that key decisions be made before the cards are sent out and that a preliminary guest list or at least a rough estimate of guest counts be set prior to sending out these cards. We also recommend that the bride send save the date cards only to those persons who may have to travel to attend, and they know they must have at their wedding and reception. They really shouldn’t be used as excited “I got engaged and need to tell the world” cards.

If you have questions regarding invitations and all they imply, please let us know. We can help you avoid lots of awkward moments.